Well hello everyone!
I can’t believe it is already halfway through February– where has this year gone already!?
To rescue what’s left of my sanity after what was a particularly trying week, I’ve turned my attention to all-things royal that have occurred in the last two weeks or so, so without further ado…
William and Kate visit Cornwall
Last week, The Prince and Princess of Wales (known as The Duke and Duchess of Cornwall in the county) visited Falmouth in a joint engagement– their first trip to Cornwall since taking on the titles.
The pair visited The National Maritime Museum, where they were briefed on the rich history of the county.
The Prince and Princess did a short walkabout as they met members of the public in Falmouth– much to the delight of the crowds.
Once inside, the royal couple were very excited to learn more about the projects that the museum were working on, as they set about speaking to staff.
The pair got to hear about how the museum was working on a refurbishment of The Kiwi, which was a 14-foot sailing dinghy that was presented to The Queen and Prince Philip as a wedding present.
“–It’s a heap of shit. They’ve had since 1947 to fix it and this is the best they could come up with? Louis could do a better job with his Bob The Builder set.”
But it was all hands on deck as William and Catherine got to work helping staff with their repair of the boat, demonstrating excellent teamwork and really impressing everyone.
“Move your bloody fingers out of the way then, you daft cow.”
Catherine even joined in doing the ‘Hokey Cokey’ dance with some Falmouth families, truly getting into the spirit of things!
Kate and William also spoke to a group of youngsters who are taking part in the ‘Young and Talented Cornwall’ scheme, which provides funds to young people across the county to fulfil their dreams and potential. The scheme itself has already raised over £350,000.
“Oh Christ no– we’re never setting foot in fucking Cornwall again, yah. When you’re King, just have them removed from the map.”
After her little dancing session with the locals, Kate was given a cute bouquet of flowers, as is customary on official engagements for Royal Family members.
There was even a ‘friendly’ game of table tennis between William and Catherine, who have previous mentioned that there is some slight competitiveness between them– but that it’s all in good fun.
And in keeping with the nautical theme, the pair got to join some children who were taking part in a model boat race, no doubt continuing the competitive streak.
But to round off the engagement, there was a touching moment when Kate was reunited with an old school teacher who had retired some time ago and moved down to Cornwall.
According to reports, her former teacher, Mr. Embury, taught her history at school where he said she was a ‘very good student’. He now volunteers at the museum on a regular basis.
Kate recognised her teacher ‘instantly’, throwing her arms around him in a warm embrace.
And with that, the royal trip was wrapped up– but not before The Prince and Princess said their goodbyes to the crowds.
All in all, a successful trip to the South of England, where I daresay they will be back soon.
Samantha sues Meghan
Yes, two years after the shit-show that was Harry and Meghan’s interview with Oprah Winfrey, her half-sister Samantha Markle has surfaced once again and is trying to sue Meghan for ‘defamation and injurious falsehood’.
I can just imagine Sam ringing Meghan up like:
Sam is really about to give Meghan a taste of her own medicine: while the Sussexes sued so many people at one stage, they may as well have been given a bedroom at the court house, big sister Sam now also can’t wait to fleece Megsy for as much as she can.
Apparently the crux of the claims lie around the fact that Meghan has apparently lied a lot (shocker) about her childhood, leading Sam to discount some of the claims she made about their time growing up in the same house.
Firstly, Sam took great offence to the fact that Meghan had apparently claimed to be an only child.
However, Meghan’s lawyer has stated that these are not grounds for a claim as this is simply ‘Samantha’s perception’ of her childhood. Just like it was apparently Meghan’s ‘perception’ that she did not have an older sibling living under the same roof as her for years.
Samantha has claimed that she can find ‘at least 10 claims’ in the Finding Freedom book that are total bullshit– something that has been rebuffed by Meghan’s legal team because “Meghan didn’t write the book”.
If Meghan did not contribute to the content of that book, I am Elon Musk.
I mean seriously, have you guys read some of the excerpts from it? There is no bloody way a person who wasn’t there could have written that tripe; and one thing Meghan fails to remember each time she claims that she has not written something is that she gushes constantly about herself in these scrawlings, basically giving the game away.
I mean even if she wasn’t the one who physically typed out the words (and let’s face it, we know she wasn’t– she probably employs someone to wipe her arse for her), does she really think that absolves her of any involvement with the book?
Her legal team, who are apparently smoking crystal meth, have tried super hard to get the case thrown out by the court– and two days ago, a notion to do just this was heard by a judge in Florida over Zoom– who by that stage was probably wishing he had just become a street-cleaner instead.
But Sam’s lawyer was ready to clap back, and told the judge that Meghan had ‘certainly’ fed information to the writer(s) of the book, making her liable for any defamatory comments.
It has been noted from Samantha’s legal team that Meghan completely left her out of Finding Fuck All Freedom and had heavily implied it was just her and her daddy for the most part.
It has now been said that should the case progress to the next stage, Harry and Meghan will be questioned by Samantha’s lawyers.
But yes– Harry and Meghan could well find themselves in court come July and having to face a series of questions from the opposition– something I’m sure makes them both quite nervous.
Apparently Sam Markle is only looking for around $75,000– a pretty measly sum given what her sister is now actually worth. Well… I’m assuming Harry and Meghan have money, but the amount they spend on private jets and lavish holidays, they probably don’t have much left to cough anything up for Sam.
In any case, I hope Samantha wipes the floor with her: if Harry and Meghan think it’s acceptable to make money off others, they should be willing to accept that people can and should make money off them too.
Kate in Derby
On a solo engagement prior to Cornwall however, The Princess of Wales made her way up to Derby, where she visited Landau Forte College and met up with Harpreet Chandi MBE, famous for her expedition in Antarctica.
A few minutes late, the Princess offered a few words of apology to her hosts:
Once inside, the Princess met up with Ms. Chandi, the two clearly enjoying each other’s company.
“Well they were given to me, but seeing as I usually just dump them in the nearest bin on the way out, you might as well have them.”
Kate hailed ‘Polar Preet’, as she is known, as an ‘inspiration to us all’, gushing over her record-breaking trip across the Arctic.
Afterwards, Kate listed to Preet give a speech at the school to an enthusiastic audience– clearly enjoying hearing all about the heroic journey.
But it wasn’t long before it was Kate’s turn to take the podium and address the crowd.
And it wasn’t long before Kate was made to join the slightly more physical side of things, whereby they strapped a harness on her with a tyre attached, to mimic what crossing the Arctic felt like for Preet.
But The Princess really got into the swing of things and found herself actually having fun.
But at least Kate was a good sport and gave it a go.
But the end wasn’t in sight just yet; Kate then headed out to the classrooms to meet pupils in years 11, 12 and 13 to discuss mental health and the challenges they face every day.
The students were excited to meet Kate and talk about how they take care of their own mental health and listened to the experiences of others.
Before long, it was time for the Princess to wave goodbye to the staff, students and Preet as she headed back to her home in Windsor– having enjoyed a thoroughly interactive day out in Derby.
However, it was not the only school Kate had sat down to discuss mental health with last week, as she also visited St. John’s CE Primary School in Bethnal Green, where she chatted to students there about how they take care of their minds also.
The Princess even posed for a photo with the kids as well to advocate for the importance of mental health and happiness amongst children.
Harry, Meghan and the King’s coronation
So there has been this continuous speculation over whether or not Harry and Meghan will attend King Charles’s coronation in May, or whether or not they have even been invited to begin with after the fall-out from Spare and, well, the last six years.
Personally, if I was Charles it’d be a no-brainer for me. I’d send them a little video on WhatsApp or something, telling them to stay where they are.
Buuuuut it looks like it has been confirmed that the Sussexes WILL attend the coronation in May (unfortunately) albeit ‘briefly’– whatever that means.
I’m not sure how you can attend a coronation at Westminster Abbey ‘briefly’? Do they just get up and leave in the middle of the ceremony, like when you need the toilet at the cinema and have to make everyone stand up so you can get past?
According to sources, Harry and Meghan were invited because they are ‘still family’, despite the way they think it’s apparently acceptable to treat their family. If I were Charles, I wouldn’t have let them near any proceedings at all.
However, others are saying that ‘there is still no definitive decision’ on whether or not the Sussexes will attend, as it is apparently Archie’s birthday that day so they ‘may have better things to do’.
“Better than showing up in London on the day of a royal coronation where there are thousands of cameras and adoring crowds? Are you fucking kidding me? We can buy Ainsley a cake later.”
“Who cares? Just hit up Elton John and get that private jet sorted. No commercial airliners, please. We’re not total commoners yet.”
But how will the rest of the family react? It is natural they will be somewhat wary of Harry and Meghan’s presence– probably worried they’ve got wires strapped to them or something and will leak even the most mundane of conversations. Harry and Meghan being around you must be like when you spot a spider in your room and then can’t locate it four seconds later.
“To tell you the truth mate, I think Cath and I would rather relinquish our titles and move to a caravan park in Bradford.”
There is of course the question of whether or not Harry and Meghan will sit down with the King and Queen Consort to help ‘heal the rift privately’– something which I’m sure Charles and Camilla are delighted to hear about.
In any case, even if they attend, I highly doubt they’ll be welcomed with open arms; the family don’t trust them, the British public don’t like them and the media are only there to make fun of them, so I can’t see this going too well.
Well that’s it for now; I do wonder what Harry and Meghan are up to as they’ve been so silent, which is more unnerving that comforting. I’m wondering also if Meghan is starting to distance herself from Harry as part of Phase 2 of her plan… something is afoot.
Until next week, stay safe, stay sane and I will see you all again soon!
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