CrownsOfBritain

Hello, hello– and happy mid-week!

Well, once again, it’s been a busy couple of months in royal world with certain members further embarrassing themselves; some of it is obviously a little old by the time I get around to reporting these days, but still– plenty of material to make fun of.

So, let’s get started…

Harry and Meghan’s Time 100 Interview

Ok, as usual, I didn’t listen to this because I just can’t listen to their condescending, hypocrisy-ridden voices, but I did read segments of the ‘interview’ and fuck me, what the hell was all that about?

Well as you might have guessed, as per usual, they made it all about themselves, banging on about the ‘hate’ Meghan has endured online, like she’s some poor little princess locked in a tower surrounded by serial killers rather than sitting on her boney arse in a multi-million dollar mansion in Santa Barbara.

Meghan then also spoke of her plight as a mother, explaining that before lockdown, she didn’t really have much of a chance to hang out with dear old Archie because she was ‘too busy’ or some shit.

Ah yes, I forgot that while in England, she worked 50+ hours a week, struggled to find childcare while her and Harry were out earning a living, dashed home to take over from the babysitter, cooked dinner, fed the baby, did bath time and then had to sit reading a book to Archie for an hour to get him to go to sleep.

And there was me thinking that all she did was venture out once a week to shake some hands and spent the rest of it holed up on a royal estate, eating avocado on toast and ordering the nanny about while she caught up on Coronation Street.

Harry chimed in with a nice touch of “we’ve had more quality time to spend together as a family which we wouldn’t normally have had”.

Sorry, really– what??!!? Did they both get full time jobs and I missed it? Or is it just that they have less time to scout for freebies now that everyone’s locked indoors due to the pandemic? They really do talk some utter shit.

In any case, the one that made me laugh was when the interviewer asked Harry how he was and he bypassed the question, prattling on about how ‘when people ask that these days, they really mean it now’ (yeah, original)– yet totally failing to answer the basic opening question.

Perhaps Meghan had given him his auto-cues already and had threatened to beat him if he strayed from the script, terrified he’d let Time 100 know he was being held captive.

Meghan then went on to commandeer the conversation by telling us all that ‘their job is to get the experts to explain to people what is happening in the online world’….

Ok firstly, again– what is she talking about?

Secondly, why do her and Harry keep prattling on about the internet? I thought she ‘didn’t go online’ and ‘didn’t read items about herself’, so just what exactly does she find to be so important about the online world? This woman chats a lot of shit.

Do they think this is their ‘niche’? Going on and on about the internet, like none of us know how to use it? And what’s all this guff about ‘using it to spread hate’? Or are we now expected to do this like Meghan and send crushing letters to ailing fathers?

If I were them, I’d address the disgusting behaviour of their own fans first, as they are some of the nastiest people on the internet.

Girl honestly, piss off. And take your useless sock puppet with you.

The Hold Still Campaign

Let’s take a moment to focus on the royal couple actually conducting some work and cast a look back at The Duchess of Cambridge’s ‘Hold Still’ campaign for the National Portrait Gallery, of which she is patron.

The idea was that Catherine handpicked her favourite images from the UK’s first lockdown in March, which depicted the various emotions and situations everyone was going through at that time.

Some of these were displayed in Waterloo at the back end of October, with Catherine viewing these in person (accompanied by The Duke of Cambridge for support).

Catherine, who received over 31,000 submissions, narrowed the collection down to just 100 photos– with the royal couple meeting with one subject, a Sudanese refugee, Sami Massalami, who is a volunteer at Food Hub in Hackney.

The couple also met with hospital staff here in London, to hear how they had managed during the pandemic and what measures they had put in place to tackle the various issues they had been seeing. Although it appears William had other issues..

But after a long day of work, and Prince William seemingly fighting hard to ignore his rumbling stomach, the two headed home to Kensington Palace, where William made something of a pit-stop along the way…

It’s ok, Wills– happens to the best of us.

Meghan and Harry mark Remembrance Sunday

I don’t even know if I can laugh at this one, but it’s best to try and make light of the situation, or I’ll probably cry out of shock.

I know nothing should really shock me by now with these two, but I’ve found that it still does.

So in order to mark Remembrance Sunday and in honour of the fallen, Harry and Meghan decided to stage a photoshoot in a graveyard– you know, as we all do at some point during the year.

Firstly, this seems to be one of just 848854 Sussex tantrums this year: this little photo op has come about as the Royal Family apparently told Harry they weren’t going to lay a personal wreath for him at the service, which pissed Harry off.

Secondly, I’m not sure why: the Royal Family don’t lay personal wreaths, which is something Harry should’ve known after several years serving the military and even longer serving the family.

But Harry and Meghan, ever keen to play the victim, dressed up in their finest attire and took to the cemetery– complete with photographers– to ensure that if they were going to do something charitable, as usual, they would need to be papped doing it.

Once again, Meghan put her poor acting skills to as good a use as she could by pretending she really gave a shit about Remembrance Sunday, when I think it was more a concentrated effort to stop herself looking directly at the cameras, as she so often loves to do.

As predicted however, this PR stunt backfired massively and instead of receiving the praise they clearly thought they’d get, they got one hell of a backlash from the media and public.

All in all, hardly surprising it was not a success; I suggest next time, they stay home and stay quiet.

Prince William had Coronavirus

So last month, it came out that The Duke of Cambridge had actually tested positive for coronavirus in April this year, shortly after we went into lockdown in the UK.

As usual of course, everyone had an opinion— some even berating Prince William for keeping his COVID diagnosis a secret, as though he owes the entire world an explanation on his medical condition.

I personally don’t see why anyone needed to be told; he doesn’t need to let us know what’s going on inside his body and he probably wanted to recover privately without the entire planet knowing he had a contagious virus. As long as the people who he came into contact with were alerted, I don’t see the big deal.

It’s not been made clear whether or not Kate and the kids contracted the virus also, and it’s possible the kids brought it home from school and gave it to The Duke too— which I’m sure he was thrilled about.

All jokes aside, I’m glad William has made a good recovery, as it was reported he had some trouble breathing at one point, so good to hear it is full steam ahead for him.

Meghan had a miscarriage

So the biggest news in the last week: Meghan apparently suffered a miscarriage back in July with her second child.

Now, quite obviously, I want to handle this sensitively— not because of Meghan, but more for those of you reading who have gone through the same or something similar.

But real talk, what was that “article” for the New York Times?

I’m sympathetic to her plight, as a miscarriage isn’t an easy thing for any woman to go through, but why did I feel like I was reading something out of Twilight?

Actually, sorry, I can’t hide my anger any longer: this is pure unadulterated bullshit.

Whose first thoughts after losing a baby, a harrowing experience, would be “I realised the only way to begin to heal is to ask people if they’re ok.”

Honestly Meghan, was that really what you were thinking during your hospitalisation?

I guarantee most women are far too traumatised to string any logical thoughts together, but Meghan was somehow mentally penning an article or speech in her head during a time where most women have not even BEGUN to recover emotionally, physically and mentally.

I know I said I wouldn’t fly off the handle, but seriously, I actually think what she wrote was something of an insult and yes, dare I say, a bit of a PR move.

So the palace announces William had COVID, then the Cambridges’ dog Lupo dies, Harry and Meghan face immense backlash for their cemetery photo op and then we’re expected to believe that the timing of this release, four months after the fact, is purely coincidental and not to drum up some good publicity for them?

Infant and Baby Awareness loss is throughout all of October— she could’ve announced it then, but didn’t. I’m sure she now knows that it’s the month to discuss infant loss, as she announced her first pregnancy on International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness day in 2018 and received some backlash for it:

Ok, obviously, it’s wholly possible she didn’t know (and neither did the palace apparently), but even I knew about that and I’ve never been pregnant in my life. So to now come out of the woodwork and claim things such as “there is still a stigma around miscarriage” (incorrect) shows her lack of knowledge and own awareness on the subject.

So yeah, I’m a little angry: angry that she is trying to be at the forefront of ‘miscarriage awareness’, angry that she now seems to think it’s only an issue because she herself has apparently experienced it and angry because I know what’s coming— another 6 months of Zoom calls where Meghan behaves as the first woman to have ever lost a baby.

I know I must sound like an A-grade bitch, but not one woman I know who has had a miscarriage is sure about the way Meghan went about releasing this information, nor does anyone want her representing them.

If this is indeed the case, her and Harry have my sympathy, but quite frankly, I don’t believe this was released to help other women— I think it was released to help Meghan and Harry’s reputation.

And for all of those calling her “brave” and “heroic”— she is no more so than any other woman who has gone through the same and didn’t have the planet’s well wishes and support poured upon them.

However, these are just my views and I would be interested to hear yours in the comments: do you think this was Meghan reaching out to help other women or was the timing simply a calculated PR move?

In any case, there has and will be loads more to cover, so I’ll be back again soon.

In the meantime, stay safe, stay happy and let’s catch up again soon!