Royal round-up: 18th October

Hello everyone and Happy Sunday!

Sorry that my posts are few and far between these days; things have been super busy and while it’s always easy to sit down and slag off Meghan, finding the time to do so these days is becoming increasingly difficult to say the least.

However, the Sussexes are still providing us all with a lot of entertainment, even five thousands miles away from the nation they fucked over, so let us take a few minutes out to have a look at what bullshit has gone down recently…

Prince William and the Queen

Let‘s start on a nice note… The Queen has finally emerged from lockdown! And she kicked this off with a joint engagement to Salisbury with The Duke of Cambridge on Thursday.

Her Majesty and His Royal Highness paid a visit to the Defence Science and Technology Laboratory, where all staff coming into contact with The Queen and The Duke had been tested for coronavirus beforehand, in order to ensure there was no exposure for the royals.

While most were happy to see The Queen out and about again, the usual pole-up-their-arses brigade came to moan about the fact that the Queen and Prince were not wearing masks on their visit, while the COVID-19 situation worsens in the UK.

Firstly, I will say that the royal household clearly looked at all the possible risks beforehand and undertook the appropriate measures. I can’t really see a 94-year-old putting herself in extreme danger.

Secondly, all the staff tested did test negative, which sort of limits the danger the Queen and William could be in. It’s not like they were sitting on the laps of the workers there.

But all that aside, they seemed to have a good visit, and The Queen was clearly delighted at being reunited with her grandson on engagements again.

During the visit, the royal duo got to learn more about what scientists were doing in response to the COVID-19 crisis and learnt more about the aftermath of the Salisbury poisonings.

All in all, a successful visit and nice to see The Queen out and about with her family again; hopefully this will continue for a while longer.

Harry and Meghan get political

As an American, Meghan is well within her rights to vote for who she wants— but going on an election campaign like you’re a member of US Congress, when you’re really just a failed actress who got (fairly) lucky in life, isn’t really the best idea.

First of all, what the royal fuck does Harry know about voting in the USA? He’s never even been able to vote in Britain, of which he is a citizen, let alone for a country to which his only affiliation is getting smashed in Vegas and having threesomes with strippers in hotel rooms.

They also dragged up Meghan’s favourite topic— racism— because it’s the only scrap of her victim card she believes she has left to play.

Yep, Harry and Meghan “called for an end to hate speech”, by once again telling us all how to think and what to do, even though they don’t follow their own advice. I quote:

“When the bad outweighs the good, for many, whether we realise it or not, it erodes our ability to have compassion and our ability to put ourself in someone else’s shoes,”

Harry Sussex, who has never met his father in law because his wife failed to exercise compassion and cut her elderly ailing father out of her life.

For some reason, he also started waffling on about “online negativity”, because somehow he and Meghan manage to draw everything back to her and how badly she was “trolled” online.

This is just another prime example of Harry and Meghan bringing every last story and point back to something about themselves. This isn’t a political matter— this is two narcissists trying to ensure that they let you know how much they’re “suffering” at every turn.

“Because when one person buys into negativity online, the effects are felt exponentially. It’s time to not only reflect, but act. As we approach this November, it’s vital that we reject hate speech, misinformation and online negativity.”

Harry

Does he think Biden and Trump like, run the internet or something? I doubt whoever wins is going to hit the White House offices in January and be like:

Honestly, once again, both of you just shut your mouths. While you hold British royal titles, you’re not to speak out about anything political— in ANY country. Give them up and you can do what you like.

Even more embarrassingly, a member of US Congress actually fucking wrote to Buckingham Palace, asking The Queen to bound and gag them or remove their titles for good.

This was basically the nice way of saying “Is anyone at the palace doing shit about these two lunatics? Shut them up or we’ll do it for you.”

In case you’re thinking this reaction may be a tad harsh, let me remind you that this is not the first time they’ve done something like this; in fact, Harry and Meghan have been trying to stick their noses in since the early summer.

And then of course, there was the “Most Powerful Wonen NextGen 2020 Summit” where, for some reason, Megs was invited to join.

Meghan went on to talk about her life, her family, oh and, herself, herself, herself.

She tried to play the doting and loving mother for a second, by bringing her poor son into the discussion:

She also went on to fail in answering questions directly and provide yet more word salads to hide the fact she has no clue what she’s talking about:

When she was asked about being limited in what she could talk about, which appeared to allude to her time as a working member of the royal family, Meghan said: “I think there’s an incredible opportunity for everyone to recognise that your voice matters and I think you realise it more when you are not able to exercise it, so regardless of my experience over the last few years compared to anyone’s experience, you can’t take for granted the ability you have as a woman to be able to be heard and now with the platform that people have on social media, to actually have that voice heard for a larger audience is a huge responsibility. It’s a privilege but it’s also a responsibility.”

Seriously, what in all that is holy is she talking about? Is she on drugs?

She also bust out the “raging hypocrite” stance again by saying the following:

If you live knowing the truth, regardless of what anyone says, you’ll be able to go to sleep with a clear conscience,”

The woman who has lied, cheated, abandoned and shagged her way to where she needs to be, explains to us what a “clear conscience” is.

She also went on to talk about her interests in gender equality “from a young age” and how she “always felt that women should have a seat at the table”.

She also talked about being a mother and how it makes you “concerned about the world your children will inherit”— although she is decidedly less concerned about the fact her son only has access to 1 out of 4 grandparents and approximately 0 cousins.

In summary, she chatted a lot of shit and I could go on and on, but my arms are getting tired and I have other topics to write on, so we’ll leave it there for now.

Harry and Meghan’s photo shoot

Clearly already believing she’s the President of the United States, Meghan has taken it up on herself to have some new headshots taken of her and Harry.

Now, I say only Meghan because if you have seen the photos, you’ll recognise pretty quickly that Harry appears to have been taken hostage, so this bullshit photo session was clearly not his idea.

Firstly, if a picture speaks a thousand words, this one’s a medical thesis. If there’s a clearer representation of their relationship than this photo, I’d ask you to find it, because it’s quite clear that Harry is now fully in “supporting player” mode.

Meghan sits on the chair in the photo, while Harry perches on an uncomfortable wooden arm, pushed behind her, while she laughs at something that clearly only she finds funny.

Why the photos were taken I don’t know; we all know she thinks she’s running for President in 2024, but I’d say I’m more likely to wind up as Queen of England than her even being given a chance to run.

But honestly, bless her for trying. She even crimped her horse’s mane and wore a new suit to look a bit like Kamala Harris!

And what of Harry? Well his solo portrait was… interesting.

I mean really, if anyone looks at this photo and sees a happy man, I suggest you get an eye test. His expression is a mix between “I’m about to have a colonic” and “I’m trying to work out where my wife
has hidden my testicles.”

I had some Sussex Sugar recently tell me on Twitter “you wish” when I raised a point about him looking unhappy, but I can only imagine these are the same women who oppress their husbands so badly that they’re not aware there’s an issue until they commit suicide.

I get that at the Altar of Harry and Meghan, their worshippers want to believe all is dandy and that they’re some power couple with a lot going for them, but I (don’t) fear the reality is more likely to be:

1. They’re broke and they’re scrounging about for money where they can. Note how they casually dropped the charity work so they can focus on making Meghan President because it has more financial gain for her.

2) Harry is close to doing a runner. I think his Shawshank Redemption-style escape is on the cards in 2021, because that man looks about as jolly as I do during a Pap smear. If he can’t even smile properly for an official photo, there’s zero chance of it being captured in candids.

3) Their titles will likely be taken away sooner rather than later. I can’t see the palace even waiting for the annual review next March— I really think these two have pissed them off bad enough now that they’ll lose them sooner. If even fucking Congress are telling the Crown to take them off these two, there’s a problem.

All remains to be seen of course— but speculation is half the fun!

Harry to return to the U.K.

Like we’re not going through enough already.

So allegedly, The Queen is summoning Harry back to the U.K. in the coming weeks— likely to ask him just what the hell he thinks he’s doing in LA and to beat him shitless with the royal sceptre.

Word on the street is that Her Maj is furious and wants to read Hazza the riot act for becoming involved in political proceedings and generally behaving like a pair of dipshits.

It could also be because Harry is not a US citizen and cannot be there for more than 183 days at a time, so he is forced to return to the motherland in the interim, or face paying US taxes.

Harry will also be expected to self isolate for two weeks upon arrival, as per U.K. entry rules— so it is likely The Queen will confine him to some disused tower at Windsor Castle.

Much to our relief, there has been no mention of Meghan coming back to England with Harry— although judging by the way she has previously treated us, I’m sure she’d rather wipe her arse with a cactus than be within 1000 miles of Britain anyway.

Just like with worldwide COVID rates, I’m sure there’ll be a spike in Meghan’s paparazzi appearances, just as there always are when Harry is away and can’t be suspicious of his wife having called them herself.

I wonder what they’ll be? Maybe…

Meghan and Archie out at the park:

Meghan and Archie on a walk:

Meghan and Archie at a mother and baby group:

I’m sure they’ll have a blast together.

Anyway my loves, that’s all for this week— I’ll try my hardest to pick this up weekly again, because I enjoy writing it as much as I hope you enjoy reading it.

Until then… 💋