Royal Roundup: 19th May 2019

Happy Sunday all! I’ve decided from here on out (provided I’m not too hungover and have the free time), that I will do a Sunday “weekly round-up” of all royal news for the week – so anything and everything that has happened in the past week that is worth discussing.

Usually there is plenty to keep us busy from the House of Windsor, but if there isn’t, you know I’ll find something to write about anyway – I always do. 

So let’s start by looking back at the last week, which was quite a busy one by royal standards:

Lady Gabriella Windsor’s wedding 

Yesterday marked the wedding day of Thomas Kingston and Lady Gabriella Windsor at St. George’s Chapel in Windsor Castle – and didn’t the bride just look gorgeous! I absolutely loved her veil and tiara – and the dress itself was amazing. Congratulations to them!

Many members of the family turned out to attend, including The Queen and Prince Harry – notably absent however were Meghan, the Cambridges and Charles & Camilla. 

People came out with lovely messages all over social media – namely journalist Richard Eden, who mentioned how nice it was to see a wedding with actual family in attendance – throwing subtle shade at the Sussexes because 90% of their wedding congregation consisted of “Hollywood actor” guests they’d probably never spoken to.

Of course, a few Meghan fans got their knickers in a twist and cried about it – as they always do with the truth – claiming that “most of the family” didn’t actually attend Gabriella’s wedding. 

Er, well, they did – and Her Majesty The Queen was certainly there and smiling, unlike one wedding I recall a year ago, where she looked like she had been taken hostage. And in any case, Gabriella and Thomas still had more family members there than Meghan did at hers; not that it’s difficult to top that record-breaking figure. One person. Meghan’s mother.

While I’ll bet Meghan was clawing at the door at home to break free, dump Archie on Doria and be out gurning in front of the cameras – it looks like it was mummy duty for her instead. 

Not sure why Charles and Camilla didn’t attend, but I know William was at the FA Cup final and Catherine is probably preparing for the Chelsea flower show next week.

Which brings me to my next point…

Kate’s garden

Nope – not a dodgy euphemism. The Duchess of Cambridge has spent the last few months working on a garden entitled “Back To Nature” for the Chelsea Flower Show, due to be revealed next week as the show gets underway. 

There have been many pictures released over the last few months showing Catherine working closely with the designers for the garden, and from what I can see, it looks totally fab! I’ll bet the Queen is super proud of her and I can’t wait to see the finished result.

In the mean time, we’ve been treated to this lovely photo of the DOC, enjoying herself behind the scenes:

Such a normal, understated, non-pretentious and down-to-earth woman. No searching for the cameras or begging for attention. Just getting on with it and making a valuable contribution to the BRF as always. Well done, Catherine!

Archie’s Birth Certificate 

Ok, guess I was wrong again, but the Siamese Sussexes play so many games, it’s tough to keep up.

Yep, despite their initial refusal, on Friday, Archie’s birth certificate was released to the public, detailing that he was in fact born at the Portland Hospital in London rather than at home at Frogmore Cottage. 

Why they hurriedly moved to Windsor only to drive back in to London to have the baby, I don’t know, but maybe that’s just me who doesn’t understand. 

As far as I know, the medical team still have not been named, but quite frankly I don’t give a shit and I don’t suspect the media do anymore either.

Meghan and Harry have played so many games regarding the details of their son’s birth that most people long since stopped caring. 

If you were going to release the birth certificate all along, why bother hiding the place of birth to begin with? 

They apparently wanted to “protect his privacy” (what privacy? He’s 2 weeks old) – but in this instance regarding the details, I suspect they either didn’t have a scoobie what they were doing OR they were trying to go down the “celebrity route” by withholding information. Either way, it was highly annoying.

More strangely, the certificate signed by the informant – Harry – is simply “Harry” typed out. So not signed. No signature. Just likely typed out on somebody’s Mac.

Why was it typed?

I happened to be at my dad’s today and dug out a copy of my own birth certificate; granted it’s almost twenty six years old, but my father, as the informant, has very clearly put pen to paper and signed off my birth – along with a Kensington and Chelsea deputy registrar. 

As the informant, Harry would have been present to register the birth, and therefore should be been able to provide a signature. 

Not sure why he didn’t; perhaps his hand is broken from eighteen months of Meghan clinging to it. 

William was the informant and provided signatures for all three of his children. Perhaps Harry simply couldn’t be arsed for his only child and son. 

Oh, and yes Meghan has been listed as ” Princess of the UK” – not sure how, as she’s not even a UK citizen – that’s like me becoming President of the United States. But in short – Kate was listed as the same for all of her three kids. It’s no big deal. And what else would you call her?

…well, I can think of a few names, but I’ll spare you for now.

Meghan and Harry’s First Wedding Anniversary 

That’s right – it’s been exactly a year since we witnessed the shitshow that was Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s wedding. Exactly a year since we had some mad preacher shout at us for about an hour and exactly a year since we witnessed members of the BRF try harder to hold in their laughter than hold the monarchy together. 

Enjoy today Sussex fans – it may be the only wedding anniversary of theirs you’ll be celebrating.

Nah, I’m totally kidding – there’ll be another one next year, along with another baby, because Madame Sussex needs to secure a hefty divorce settlement. But I don’t reckon you’ll be seeing another anniversary after that. More likely a separation announcement by May 19th 2021. 

Of course, not keen to be upstaged by Gabriella and Thomas, Harry and Meghan released some “unseen” photos from the big (disastrous) day last year on – you guessed it – their Instagram page. 

Predictably, more heavily edited black-and-white filters from Meghan and more crap spewed where she can refer to herself as “Her Royal Highness” – because she can apparently dig around what little brain cells she has left to remember her own title, but can’t address Charlotte and Louis as “Prince” and “Princess” in her birthday comments to them. Always something that makes me laugh. 

Prince Harry’s lawsuit 

In other (relatively boring) news, Prince Harry apparently won a settlement in court because some dudes in a helicopter flew over him and Meghan’s home in the Cotswolds and took some pictures of the house, which apparently showed areas of the dining room and bedroom. 

I mean, Harry – your wife had no problem tossing some guy’s salad on camera and you’re more worried about the fact people know what shape your dining table is? If I were you, I’d be saving my pennies for the court case when THAT material is released.

And in the interim, I dunno, maybe invest in some fucking curtains?

Regardless, it’s a property they have barely even set foot in; the Queen apparently gifted it to them for their wedding and the two-year lease has just run out, so they’ve abandoned it; but Meghan and Harry, true to form, have tried to play at being the victims once again and have made out that they were “driven out of their own home” – (that they never lived in to begin with).

Anyway folks, that’s all for this week – I’m sure the next seven days will generate plenty of material, and either way, I’ll probably pen something in the week also – provided things aren’t too busy. 

Otherwise, have a good one! 

27 responses to “Royal Roundup: 19th May 2019”

  1. Great read with my morning cuppa … cheers ☕️😊

    1. Thank you darling! 💖💖

    2. persephonie234 avatar

      Love this blog and you are spot on!!!!

      1. Thank you so much!! 💖

  2. Have to wonder if Harry’s Cotswold lawsuit meant he found break the lease without paying the rent for the alleged second year – or recoup what he owed on the lease. There had to be £££ in it, not just publicity.

    1. Oh I think you’re right! There’s more to it I’m sure.

  3. Thank you, I love the idea of a weekly round-up and look forward to it with pleasure. You are the doing the work of the “royal reporters” out there. I hope you can tweet this to Richard Eden,he seems to be the only one who calls it out for now.

    1. Thank you so much! 💜 that’s a good idea – and you’re right. He’s clearly not buying whatever Harry and Meghan are selling either!

    2. And don’t forget Katie Hopkins! She has also had a few things to say!

  4. I can’t bear to read the news on them anymore, but I’m curious, so I come here to see what’s going on. Plus I trust your instincts Saffy on what’s true in the news and what’s not anyways. I’m glad that you are going to have weekly updates! Great idea! Thanks for taking your time. 🙂

    I am not totally convinced that the birth certificate is real. …and if you don’t know the exact date etc. you won’t be able to ask for a copy of it, so who knows if anybody ever will be able to get to see the real one!

    I thought the same you did about the “Princess of the UK”, I thought that no way a US citizen could be that, I also thought it was rude, since it’s pretty clear she despises the UK.
    You were spot on that she grabs every occasion to be called HRH, but left off the proper titles of Prince Louis and Prince Charlotte. I thought that was such a pitiful disgusting thing to do. To me these not so little things that Megain does speak a lot about her character. This is why I am shocked so many people think so highly of her. When she is clearly a mean mean mean biatch.

    There’s something else that is very fishy. She is one those insta people, who just have to share everything on SM. When you are a first time proud mum, you can’t wait to show off your baby. I find it very odd that we still haven’t seen a good photo anywhere. It’s more than odd. The privacy crap I don’t buy.

    1. Thank you so much darling 💖 and I totally agree with you. Something just doesn’t sit right about it at all – she says one thing but does something else half the time. Privacy? Don’t make me laugh, Meg. I’m still not sold on the birth certificate either. Gary Janetti on instagram did a spoof one and showed just how easy it is to photoshop something, so I suppose it’s doable. Something about it all just doesn’t sit right with me…

    2. BS! That “baby” shown at the Big Reveal was a “reborn” silicone doll called Darren.

  5. Thoroughly enjoyed this read.

    1. Thank you so much! 💚

  6. Edwina Lindeman avatar
    Edwina Lindeman

    Bloody funny stuff. I really enjoy your blog!

    1. Thank you lovely! 💛

  7. This was awesome you made all of your hen group very proud. LOL I almost lost my glass of wine reading. Note to self don’t have a glass and Royal Roundup. Lots of love and can not wait until next Sunday.

    1. Thank you so much darling, I really appreciate it 😘❤️

  8. IMO Meghan’s plan was to give birth at Portland all along – as has been published recently Portland is super luxurious, moreso than the Lindo Wing. It serves champagne and lobster for new parents and has £4K cribs.

    But Meghan couldn’t justify the cost of having her baby there to taxpayers so instead of being upfront with her birth plan she lied and said that she was going to have a home birth, then pretended that she was overdue and needed to go to Portland when really that was her plan all along – she just didn’t want to have to justify planning to spend £15k (yes that is how much the estimate was for Meghan’s birth at Portland) to give birth so pretended it was a spontaneous decision.

  9. Really fun reading — thank you for the humor!

    1. Hahaha no worries and thank you! 💖

  10. Truth Will Out avatar
    Truth Will Out

    Portland Hospital should be investigated for providing cover to someone who was never pregnant to begin with.

    1. Well I’ve said from the start I just don’t believe she “delivered” in a hospital. Underground tunnel or not, I just don’t see how she got there, back and pushed out a kid without a single soul spotting her and outing it to the press. I’m not buying any of it, even for a second.

    2. I believe that the surrogate delivered there. She may have been staying nearby but this Maggot did not have a child!

  11. I’m wondering if the whole “privacy” bid was so that she could control the media. In her hollywood reality, a lot of those celebrities try to find some magazine that will shell out big bucks for exclusive “first” pictures of a new baby. Maybe she was trying to go for a huge payday.

    1. I agree. I think she wanted to stick it to the media AND the courtiers. For someone as controlling as she is, I expect the royal courtiers (“men in grey”) are trying their best to keep an eye on her and she’s not at all happy with the intense scrutiny. So, she probably got a huge thrill by deceiving everyone and doing her own thing – making her own decisions re: the birth.

  12. Great piece. I am obviously really out of the loop. The naked photos of Meghan, Meghan tossing salad off a guy, the truth of their real relationship and how harry was dating other women whilst seeing Meghan are surprising but not unbelievable . I liked Meghan in the beginning but now I cannot stand her. She is so fake. I am hoping that this marriage will unravel quickly so she cannot do any more damage to the royal family. Where do you hear things? I have always followed the royal family from the early days of lady diana but I don’t have any inside scoop. Keep up the great posts!

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