Cambridge vs. Sussex: Fashion Wars

There isn’t just a war between Meghan Lovers and Non-Meghan Lovers, but these days, it seems you’re either Team Kate or Team Meghan. In case it needed highlighting, I’m very clearly Team Kate.

Yes, there are some special snowflakes on here, pitchforks at the ready, waiting to spew out their usual bile: “racist”, “bully”, “hateful”, just because you have an opinion that differs to theirs, even their clothing (shockingly). Fact is, I do think Kate just generally make a better royal, especially in the fashion stakes — and here is why:

Let’s be real here, Catherine very rarely gets it wrong. Yes, once or twice, I have wondered if she may have borrowed the Queen’s curtains to wear to a gala or dinner, but she does get it right almost every time. With Meghan, I do feel like most of it is a miss. Most of what she wears either swamps her or is too tight— there’s rarely an inbetween. I understand she’s pregnant at the moment, but I don’t recall the Duchess of Cambridge looking like she’d donned a tent throughout any of her pregnancies.

Designer: Dior

At the risk of sounding like a total arse, this could easily have been bedding rather than a dress and for £99,000 (not sure why this amount was necessary either) the material looks cheap, like she got it off Missguided. I know she’s pregnant, but surely Dior had something better? It’s just not a look. I’m assuming she was trying to copy Kate’s look in Norway from last year (gown— Alexander McQueen), but it fell sort of flat.

My favourite look of Kate’s so far of 2019 absolutely has to be her BAFTA dress — she just looked like a total Queen (designer: Alexander McQueen):

Now THAT’S a princess

Catherine is tall and elegant and built like a mannequin (even after three kids), so most items of clothing tend to look great on her. Meghan isn’t quite as tall, so pulling off long dresses appears to be more of a challenge for her. I must say though, I’ve not disliked everything she has worn, but for the most part, she really doesn’t know how to dress.

Below, I’ve included more of my favourites from Catherine and some of my (least) favourites of Meghan:

Designer: Jenny Packham

This is one of my all-time favourite looks of Kate— she just absolutely nails it. The hair, the make up, the dress, the shoes… ALL of it!

The above photos are from 2012 I believe and she has since reworn it, but only once I think— I do wish she’d wear it again. It’s a real hit for me. 

Designer: Oscar de la Renta

The dress (?) Meghan is wearing is by Oscar de la Renta… and shockingly, despite resembling my grandmother’s curtains, this actually cost £3,000. This is probably the worst outfit I’ve ever seen her in, and that’s saying something, because there are several to choose from. Not only is it a really ugly pattern, but it is also about four sizes too large, like she’s been raiding her mum’s wardrobe to play dress-up. I honestly think it was made for someone a lot taller than she is (5’7” my arse), but you could be Naomi Campbell and not pull this off. A piece of toilet paper also appears to have flown out from a nearby bin and become affixed to her head in the shape of a “hat”, rather sadly. Totally awful get-up – not even a 0/10.

Designer: Alexander McQueen

I love this gown! Lilac isn’t usually a colour I tend to favour, but I love this. The the style of dress is gorgeous and suits Kate’s statuesque figure down to the ground. I believe this was worn in Los Angeles in 2011, not long after her and William married. My only criticism here is that because it was so soon after her wedding, she looked a bit unnaturally thin, but otherwise, stunning as usual.

Designer: Givenchy

So this is from the Endeavour Awards last month; it’s meant to be bespoke Givenchy, but I’m not really sure what’s happening here or what about it is meant to be unique. Meghan looks more like the waitress than the wife of a Prince in a white shirt/black skirt ensemble. I’m not a fan of the rolled up sleeves either; not only does it look messy and informal, but it also creases the arms of the shirt— she kept pulling the skirt up at the back all the way through the night as well, as though she was trying to dislodge a wedgie — not a good look at all.

Designer: Self Portrait

This whole look is stunning — I love it; she wore it to the “A Streetcat Named Bob” premiere in late 2016. My only criticism is that the split goes up just a little too high on the dress, but it works out fine; the dress itself is classy and she also may possibly have the best legs in Britain, so she kind of gets away with it!

Someone actually took the time to design this.. This is almost worse than the floral mess but manages to redeem itself a bit because it actually fits her (sort of). Honestly, this is a travesty. She also appears to have ransacked someone’s Christmas decorations and strung a few pom poms on there too — or are those Harry’s balls? Hard to tell. She also appears to only have one sleeve rolled up, so she looks quite messy. The shoes are the saving grace; I’m a bit fan of wedges and I like these ones — I’d definitely wear them.

I’m not sure who the designer is for this, but I just love it. It’s a simple dress, but Kate looks stunning in it; the split is modest, the colour is great and I LOVE her hair in a ponytail like that. It really suits her — the whole look is 10/10.

Designer: unknown

I honestly am not sure what happened here either. And I shudder at the thought that this actually cost £10,000. The pattern would be pretty for a duvet cover maybe, but not for a dress on a real, live person. It’s too puffy, too busy and looks incredibly itchy; and with the greatest of respect to Meghan, she doesn’t have the legs for dresses either. Also, yet again, she hasn’t looked in the mirror before going out and hasn’t (we don’t think) noticed that the dress is so transparent, we can almost see her underwear— yet again.

I have to be honest, it’s not really the dress that does it here (while I do love it), it’s just the overall look. I’ve always said she looked her best just after she had Prince George, and this picture was taken a few months after his arrival at the Tusk Conversation Awards. Her hair length was gorgeous, she was tanned and healthy looking and being perfectly honest, she looks a lot better a few pounds heavier — it makes her look younger too and she looks fab here.

Well, the Queen must be missing a bedspread from Sandringham somewhere while Meghan wears it for the day. There was one main issue with this dress, besides the fact it’s hideously ugly; it’s too tight for a pregnant woman, making her look rather crass. As thin as Meghan is, the dress was so tight that the skin from her back was spilling over the edge of it. Not a good look for anyone, let alone a royal.

I’m not usually a fan of a lace overlay for dresses, but I do like this one— and I honestly think Kate could wear a bin bag and still look like a supermodel. I stand firm that 2011-2013 were the years she looked the best, and I’ve always been a fan of her hair longer, like here. A stunning look.

Straight up, this look doesn’t suit her at all. The material is cheap and tacky looking, and I feel like it should be more fitted than it is, especially around the forearms. This whole garden party look baffled me; she did genuinely look like a call girl playing dress-up at Ascot for the day — the formal, “prim and proper” look just doesn’t suit her at all, even thought I understand it’s required of her sometimes. I do however like her make up here — but I don’t think hats really suit her and make her appear as though she’s trying too hard. It’s a no from me.

I believe this one was also Alexander McQueen— it was the dress she wore for her wedding reception in 2011, and it is the stuff made of dreams. Once again, carries off the Princess look just perfectly — she is flawless here, and then some. (I’m not sure what Camilla is wearing though).

I’m not sure who designed this (though it was probably Givenchy) and nor do I care to investigate — it really isn’t a good look at all. The top half looks like a swimming costume and the skirt part is questionable at best. She also has a really terrible habit of wearing long skirts and dresses that trail across the ground, especially when the weather is particularly shit, so the underside gets absolutely filthy. The local council should probably consider paying her for sweeping the streets.

Of course— we gotta end with the wedding dresses! I’ve touched on this in a previous blog so don’t want to harp on too much about it, but putting them side by side, there’s only one clear winner.

Just to reiterate, I didn’t find Meghan’s dress to be ugly or anything like that; it was a nice shade of white and maybe the simplicity was intentional. But it was just a tad loose, the veil was wayyyyy too long to the point that it looked ridiculous and her hair was a mess by the end of the ceremony.

Kate’s was fit for a future Queen; elegant, timeless and did a stunning job of mixing the modern with the traditional. I love the lace top half and think the tiara set her face and make up off beautifully. She also held her bouquet properly, and not like she was bringing a jug of Pimms over to the garden table— Meghan seemed to treat hers like it was a hindrance and even carried it like a flag at one point. The doe-eyed Diana look she’s trying to pull in this photo is highly irritating also.

To conclude, I do think Meghan could make improvements if she hired a decent stylist and adviser when it comes to dressing. Sometimes she almost gets it right, but then there’s usually something that lets her down. Spending money like it’s water is bad enough, but when you’re paying £99,000 to look like you’re wearing an Ikea pillow case, something is very, very wrong. She hasn’t been with the family that long and she’s learning, so it remains to be seen, but something tells me she’ll want to do it her way for the foreseeable.

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