CrownsOfBritain

Hello and welcome to another Royal Round Up! I am desperately trying to cover off a lot of the other news items that have happened recently, which has left me somewhat frantic.

So having a scan over some of the more recent stories, let’s see what the royals (and non-royals) have been up to over the past two weeks…

Harry in Britain

So the spare pain in the arse touched down in the UK last week to do some crap or another, under the guise of promoting Invictus.

Firstly, it should be (rather hilariously) noted that Harry was shunned by both his brother and father and neither one of them could allegedly make time to meet him.

Apparently when they were asked if they would be seeing the ginger whinger, Charles and William were all like:

Arriving in London early last week, Harry attended a service at St. Paul’s Cathedral, smiling and waving to the crowds as he arrived at the historical building.

Seriously, before I go any further, if you were one of the people that waited outside St. Paul’s, you are truly a plank. Why would anyone want to queue up outside in mildly shitty weather to cheer on a man who took your tax money and then called you all racists?

Unless it was to throw rotten vegetables at him…

It was reported that Harry became ’emotional’ during the service, during a speech given by 2018 Team UK captain, Michelle Turner, who talked about the amazing impact Invictus had upon her own life. This was apparently met with a standing ovation, led by Harry, who ‘wiped away his own tears’ at this moment.

It was a flying visit for Harry, who jumped in a car after and sped off, thus (I guess) concluding his visit to the UK after only one ‘engagement’. I’m not really sure why he flew 11 hours just for that?

But further to the lack of interaction between Harry and the royals, it is said that King Charles could not actually meet with Harry due to his ‘full diary of commitments’ and that Harry ‘completely understood’ and ‘hoped to see him soon’.

And with that, it was on to the next leg of Harry’s little popularity tour…

Harry and Meghan’s visit to Nigeria

Yep, Harry and Meghan went to piss off yet another country last week when they touched down in the Western African country.

According to several media outlets, this trip was also in aid of 10th anniversary of The Invictus Games, whereby it was thought Harry would ‘enter talks’ about the event whilst visiting.

Harry and Meghan travelled with what was left of their team from their Archewell company and stayed in ‘a lavish hotel’.

Well that doesn’t really come as a surprise, does it; I couldn’t see Meghan slumming it in anything less than a 5-star and an entire entourage behind her to make her look as important she clearly feels.

Before the trip, it was said that the couple were asked to keep as low a profile as possible while visiting the continent, in order to reduce the security risk.

You might’ve been able to tell from the media coverage of the tour that they– shock horror– completely ignored this advice and tried to garner as much attention for themselves as possible.

Keen to avoid Britain like the plague, Meghan joined her husband in Abuja directly from California, in the hopes she would have more luck being adored over there instead.

It was said that because Harry and Meghan were visiting in a ‘private capacity’, they would not be meeting with Nigeria’s president, Bola Tinubu while visiting the country. I do wonder if that was actually the reason, or if Tinubu was like:

The couple made their first stop at the Lightway Academy, where they were greeted by a line of students, who were likely held against their will to meet Prat 1 and Prat 2.

Visiting a school in the Nigerian capital, Meghan couldn’t wait to open her trap and start spouting rubbish, telling students, “I see myself in all of you.”

Meghan simply could not wait to harp on about how she is ‘43% Nigerian’, sparking a ‘wave of excitement’ across the country. Entrepreneur Ife Durosinmi-Etti had told the media:

It got me all giddy when I found out about her Nigerian heritage because Nigerian women are smart, resilient, multitalented, they go after what they want and that’s exactly how I see her, so when I heard; I was like, ‘Yup, that’s it, it’s the Nigerian Spirit in her’.

Moving on and it was a quick outfit change for Harry and Meghan, who then headed over to meet the Chief of Defence Staff of Nigeria at the Defence Headquarters in Abuja. Lord only knows what they discussed over there.

Meghan obviously took the opportunity to wear her best power suit and to look like she meant business, while the pair met military wives and senior officials. I’m assuming they were not classing Meghan as a ‘military wife’ too?

Harry then went on to ‘inspect’ a guard of honour– although just what qualifications he has to do that, I do not know.

But things got worse when they gave Meghan a chance to hear her own voice at a panel she hosted called ‘Women Leaders’, where she opened up about her ‘love’ of being a mother.

Meghan talked about the ‘difficulty’ of balancing motherhood and a ‘career’ while she has two young children. Firstly:

Secondly, ‘balancing motherhood’? Pray tell Meghan, where are dear Archie and Lilibet on this trip? I’m assuming they’re at home with the nanny, so you’re not struggling to ‘balance’ anything as much as all our mothers did holding down actual jobs while raising kids and without millions in the bank.

Sadly, no one sat around her was bright enough to see the irony.

But oh wait, don’t you worry– it gets way worse.

The couple were guests of honour at the Sit Out event, whereby they were given chairs with their unearned titles on them.

Keen to lick their arses even further, the dastardly duo were treated to live performances, before Lance Corporal Peacemaker Azuegbulam thanked Harry for launching the Invictus Games a decade previously.

But the worst was still yet to come; during the addresses, Abike Dabiri Erewa, chairwoman of the Nigerian Diaspora Commission, decided to exclaim “Princess Meghan is a Nigerian!”

Girl please– that woman is no more a Princess than I am. It is always the places that have no idea how titles work that spout shit like this. Although you could just tell by Meghan’s expression that she was positively wetting her knickers at being called this.

And just in case Nigeria, Harry, Meghan or anyone else was confused– this is a Princess:

Moving on and before leaving, Meghan was gifted a traditional Nigerian skirt, which she subsequently wore upon arrival to Lagos. As cute as the gesture was, I’m not really sure it was her cup of tea.

But keen to look as down to earth and friendly as possible, Meghan decided to don the garment as they landed in Lagos– although I’m sure she teared up at whatever Givenchy skirt she had to toss aside to accommodate this PR stunt.

Still– at least she was gracious about it, eh?

And lastly, because even though there were a few more engagements, I cannot take this shit anymore, Harry and Meghan did what they do best– dress up for a polo match.

Attending the Lagos Polo Club, it appears that Harry was not actually playing in this match, for reasons unbeknownst to me.

But honestly, all that aside, just what the fuck was Meghan wearing?

Either media rags were being sarcastic or they’ve paid for some phony-sounding PR because I saw one article where she was described as looking like ‘a Hollywood A-Lister at The Oscars’.

Now I know I’ve seen some right messes at The Oscars, but this is taking the piss a bit. I’ve never seen her look even remotely glamorous, despite being able to afford the best designers money could buy.

And as they took their seats in the ‘royal box’, this outfit was no exception; Meghan, sat beside her husband with her rack practically hanging out, looked as far from ‘Hollywood A-lister’ as possible.

I’m not entirely sure why Harry didn’t choose to play in the polo even as a guest (there were kids there, but I’m sure there were adults too)– and he usually likes to barge in on this sort of thing– but he and Meghan did get to hand out medals at the end, for some reason or another.

Anyway, I think that’s quite enough of that crap; I am utterly exhausted covering this Ego Trip of Western Africa those two frauds have decided to undertake and I sincerely hope they don’t do anything like this again for the rest of the year… Although I won’t hold my breath.

Kate upset about George going to boarding school

And now a quick look at The Wales family, which admittedly is a little thin on the ground at the moment with Kate being away– but there is still always something to read about.

So in the last fortnight or so, it has emerged that The Princess of Wales is ‘upset’ at the notion of Prince George going to boarding school later this year.

It is said that Prince William and Kate’s eldest child and son is due to head to Eton College later this year, where William also studied, after The Prince and Princess of Wales were seen touring the grounds last June.

However, it was said that Kate thinks that George attending such a ‘stuffy institution’ goes against all their efforts to modernise the monarchy in recent time.

Despite being a boarder herself at Marlborough College in Wiltshire, Catherine was ‘heartbroken’ at the thought of sending her boy away to school, but after ‘years’ of arguments with William, has apparently finally given in. I’m sure they were able to resolve the matter in a grown-up way.

It is a well-known fact that Kate was bullied horribly in her first boarding school, Down House, and reportedly ‘cannot bear the thought of George going through the same experience’ whilst away from home. I imagine she is still quite angry about it all.

In any case, if George is headed to Eton, let’s hope Kate has taught him some useful self-defence tips…

Either way, I’m sure George will be fine; boarding schools aren’t quite as bad as they used to be and he is the future King– I don’t think anyone would mess with him…. And even if they did, I’m sure he could handle himself.

Anyway, that’s all for now! I’m off on holiday on Monday for a week to get some sunshine (because England isn’t quite delivering on that front)– but I will be back shortly thereafter to report on anything new– namely the fall-out from the Nigerian tour, because it looks like some things are blowing up with that. Can’t wait!

Until then, have a great weekend, take it easy and see you all soon!