CrownsOfBritain

Well hello everyone– long time no speak!

Sorry for my absence; as mentioned in the other post I did recently, things have been a little crazy over the last 6 or so months and I just haven’t had the time to sit down and put pen to paper (or finger to keyboard).

My mum had another long stint in hospital (4 months), we all caught COVID and were on our arses for a bit and now I’m sat here hungover (it was my birthday yesterday) after struggling to regain access to my account for weeks after I was locked out.

But I figured it was about time to return as there is just so much to cover off– so let’s not waste any more time! I know some of this is super old but I promise I’ll keep it more current with the next one…!

The Queen’s Jubilee

Undoubtedly the biggest royal weekend of the year, Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II celebrated 70 years on the throne on 2nd June. An amazing achievement, wonderful celebrations and above all… we got 4 days off in the UK to get rat-arsed with our mates.

Of course, there were many events across the long weekend that the Royal Family partook in to salute QE11– the first of which was….

Trooping the Colour

Normally taking place on a Sunday, this year it was held on Thursday 2nd June (on the day The Queen ascended the throne in 1952).

And what a show it was this year! We had the carriage procession of the Royal Family members, where we got to see the Cambridge kids partake for the first time ever.

Of course, Prince Louis was a total show-stealer as usual, much to the dismay of big sister Princess Charlotte– and a times, mother Catherine.

It seemed that the planes were a little loud for Louis’s liking, and he pulled his usual series of faces at the flypast:

He also turned to The Queen a few times to ask… er… some aviation related questions? Maybe?

And how could I forget… wafting in like a curry fart across the Atlantic, for some unknown fucking reason, Harry and Meghan decided to join the family at Buckingham Palace for the occasion.

Can I just ask, does anyone here have a single bloody clue as to why they flew 11 hours to be shoved in a broom cupboard at BP and only really attend one real event across the span of 4 days at St. Paul’s?

I mean, surely this was absolutely killing Meghan, who must have been frothing at the mouth to be stood on the BP balcony, only to likely be told at the last minute that she wouldn’t be parking her arse either there or in a royal carriage.

I also cannot imagine how unbelievably awkward it must have been behind those curtains at BP after the Sussexes came face to face with the RF after all of the chaos they have caused over the last two years. Quite frankly, they have some bloody nerve.

And later on in the day, despite Meghan apparently ‘fearing for her life’ in the UK previously, she decided it was a good time to wind down her bullet-proof windows in a crowded area, full of people who hate them both, while she took a little drive with Harry.

Well, nothing changes really, does it? The overwhelming desire to be in the limelight even trumps the fear of having a box of raw eggs hit her in the head, but each to their own I suppose.

And unfortunately, their UK appearances didn’t stop there….

St. Paul’s Service of Thanksgiving

Yep, they actually managed to squeeze their big coconut heads into an event in the end.

On the Friday 3rd June, there was a service of thanksgiving at St. Paul’s Cathedral, whereby Harry and Meghan were invited to attend.

Honestly, I cannot stress how hilarious it was that they were made to sit far away from the actual royal family, lumped in with the likes of odious former Prime Ministers and Ant and Dec or something.

The Queen was all like:

Seriously, once everyone was actually seated for the service, I could not for the life of me find Harry and Meghan in any of the photos. I know my eyesight isn’t all that, but they were seriously well hidden. Bet William and Kate were thrilled.

I’m also not entirely sure who Meghan was smiling and waving at outside? You’ve forced your way back into a country that you have no respect for, and one that has no respect for you, and you were expecting people to say… what exactly?

Also… did she faceplant a vat of paprika before leaving the house? What in the fuck was going on with her make up?

I never get why she bothers dressing up like this either. Given the Kardashian-esque outfits she has been sporting in Cali, she looks like a toddler raiding her mother’s wardrobe and playing dress up. I won’t even ask about the gloves.

Anyway, that’s quite enough of that. Thank God jubilee celebrations only roll around once a decade.

The Cambridges in Wales

And now a palette cleanser: The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge paid a visit to Wales, where they had a special surprise in the form of George and Charlotte joining them.

It was the first time the kids had joined them on an away day to Wales and the children had a great time interacting with everyone– with Princess Charlotte even getting to musically conduct at one point!

Prince Louis, however, was missing from the visit, perhaps remaining in London with other members of the family.

But it looked like a great day out overall and the kids even got their own bouquets of flowers!

The Jubilee pageant

And to close off the festivities was a rousing 3-hour concert outside of Buckingham Palace, much to the Cambridge kids’ delight.

Prince Louis was back and in fine form, clearly bored shitless and wondering why he was made to sit through such a lengthy performance at the age of 4.

Unable to sit still, he eventually wandered over to Grandpa Charles, giving Dad and (especially) Mum a much needed break.

But it wasn’t long before Louis was back bothering Mum again, who was starting to look increasingly like she needed a stiff gin and tonic.

To make matters worse, a restless Louis took to pulling faces again– this time at a weary Duchess of Cambridge, who looked, for a split second, as though she could cheerfully smack her youngest son upside the head– especially when he tried to clap her over the mouth.

It seemed like Kate was rapidly running out of patience on more than one occasion…

In all honesty, I felt for Kate a little. It must be so tough when your kids are being little shites in public and the whole world is watching you, so you need to remain composed.

I also felt sorry for Louis who is too young to be sitting through such a long show too– even his older and less restless siblings looked bored as hell.

But Louis eventually settled and all was fine in the end.

The Cambridges then took to the Buckingham Palace balcony once more to join the Queen, Charles and Camilla in a final appearance of the jubilee weekend.

All in all, a successful weekend– but I bet the kids were glad it was over with.

I’m keeping this one quite brief as I now want to do a back-to-back post on some slightly more current affairs in the royal stratosphere, so hold tight and I will issue a fresh new post shortly!

*As a side note, and I don’t want to have a moan, but please can I ask that if you are thinking about leaving me nasty messages in my inbox because I’m not posting fast enough for your liking, please consider the following:*

1. I have a day job that I am actually paid to do and I work 50+ hours a week sometimes.
   
2. I am currently caring for a parent at home after she spent 4 months in the ICU and she is currently my priority. It gets busy.
   
3. Sending me such messages actually pushes me in the opposite direction and makes me not want to post at all.
   
4. If you send me a rude message and then are offended when you get an equally rude one back telling you where to go, I don’t know what to tell you, other than: if you feel you can say whatever you like to me, I’ll extend the same courtesy back. I’m not a performing monkey, this is a hobby (that I’ve not had much time for recently) and please don’t ruin it for me.

Ok– rant over! And onto the next post… Stay tuned xx