CrownsOfBritain

Happy Tuesday all! 💋

Apologies for the delay in posting on Sunday; those of you who follow me on Twitter will know that it was my dad’s 60th birthday on Saturday and overall, a very busy weekend. I could just about string a sentence together from being so tired – much less finish up a blog entry!

Well as usual, a fair bit has occurred in royal world this last week, so let’s take a look at some of the highlights…

Kate’s Podcast

So on Saturday, a podcast with the Duchess of Cambridge and Giovanna Fletcher aired, believed to have been recorded some time in late January when Kate was on her mini tour of Britain to promote her ‘5 Big Questions’ initiative.

This was super interesting, as I feel it was the first time that Catherine has been so candid about her experiences so far with motherhood and it was lovely to hear her speak as so many mums do– especially about feeling guilty for leaving her children behind when going out on engagements.

Catherine talked about the fact that while she is a hands-on mum, she still often worries about whether or not she is parenting her children in the right way and experiences the same worries all mums do – royal or not.

She also went on to laugh about how George and Charlotte ‘couldn’t understand’ why Catherine doesn’t do the school run sometimes when she has to be out of the house early for engagements, and how they often express their annoyance over this.

And also somewhat surprisingly, Catherine also discussed childbirth and how she turned to hypnobirthing following her first experience with hyperemesis gravidarum (severe morning sickness) while expecting Prince George. The Duchess told Mrs Fletcher, “I’m not going to say that William was standing there, sort of chanting sweet nothings at me. He definitely wasn’t! I didn’t even ask him about it, it was just something I wanted to do for myself.”

I must admit, having never had a baby and not really being into all that kumbaya shit, I’m not really sure what hypnobirthing is; but the thought of William trying to aid an agitated and tired Catherine while she was in the midst of an agonising labour was rather funny to me:

All in all, a sweet and interesting conversation between Catherine and Giovanna – hoping Kate does more engagements like this going forward!

Harry to support US veterans

Like they haven’t been through enough already.

It emerged this last week that Prince Harry, who was recently stripped of his uniform and medals, is apparently now going to take it upon himself to ‘aid veterans of the USA and Canada’ – because apparently two such powerful countries need Harry’s input in order to thrive.

What Harry is going to teach them, I don’t know; he was no doubt well-protected while on the ‘frontline’ himself and likely didn’t risk having any arms or legs blown off during his two tours of Afghanistan, so perhaps he has other matters on the agenda to discuss with them…

A ‘source’ commented on the ‘initiative’, saying that “Now Harry has broken away from the Royal Family, he can finally focus on the causes that really matter to him.”

“The causes that really matter to him”? So what have the last 35 years meant to him then?
In all that time, he was supporting charities affiliated with the army, creating initiatives such as the Invictus Games and championing charities such as Walking With The Wounded.

So it’s really nice to hear that these were all things that ‘didn’t really matter’ to him.

Harry – piss off, mate. You’ve been given free rein to back whatever causes you’ve wanted for the best part of three decades – please don’t act like you’ve been forced to support things you haven’t wanted to.

In kick-starting this ‘project’, Harry apparently plans to meet with officials from the PTSD Association of Canada, which supports thousands of troops dealing with the condition and aims to find various ways to support them.

All I can say is God help those poor veterans; having quite literally been through the wars and then having to listen to a toy soldier ginger prince pretend to identify with them. Let’s hope this isn’t a regular visit.

Harry and Meghan pictured for first time since Megxit

Interestingly, the same time as Catherine’s podcast is released.

Unfortunately, we were ‘treated’ to some photos of Dumb and Dumber landing in Victoria, Canada (from where, fuck knows) – but at least this time they had the common sense to use a commercial airliner.

Well, firstly – it’s clear their new-found freedom suits them.

Meg is free to look as messy as she likes now; hair all over the gaff, low cut top barely covering anything and that all-important binder under her arm to make it look as though she is actually doing something other than sitting on her arse and ordering the house staff around.

It does appear that times are tough though; in addition to flying commercial, it appears they were also having to carry their own bags (the horror). Though this did come in handy for Harry; at one point, while Meghan walked ahead of him (what’s new) down the steps of the aircraft, the Prince was in a great position to ‘accidentally’ decapitate his wife.

But alas, having lost his balls a while ago, he chickened out and settled for attempting a runner instead.

Harry and Meghan axe staff

In the interest of saving some money, it has been reported that Harry and Meghan have axed their staff at their Buckingham Palace office here in London – though the story has been spun that there is ‘no longer a need for them’ as the couple are spending so much time in Canada. Harry and Meghan told their staff formally in January:

To me, this is the biggest sign to date that they have more chance of setting foot on the moon than back in Britain ever again, so I really think we might be lucky enough to have seen the last of them. Sort of. For now.

Though I did have to laugh though; Meghan, who likes to champion educational and employment opportunities for women, has just intentionally put a load of them out of a job so early on in the year. So much for being ‘kind’ and ‘compassionate’.

Apparently some of those who have lost their jobs will be ‘absorbed back into the royal family’ for work, but most of them will be facing redundancy and are currently negotiating pay packages – even those who were appointed about five seconds ago.

I’d be SO fucked off if I was one of these people. A lot of them were poached from notable places (such as Burberry) as early as six months ago; can you imagine how pissed you’d be if you had walked out of a perfectly decent job and were already out on your arse just months later?

All jokes aside, I do feel for those who have lost their jobs – but what I can tell you is that given how smart and well-educated these people seem to be, they could honestly do much better than working for some loser and his demanding wife – I’m sure they won’t have any trouble finding something new.

Ok guys, that’s all for now – see you again on Sunday when I’m sure there’ll be more shit to make fun of. Until then…