Happy Sunday all! I’ve decided from here on out (provided I’m not too hungover and have the free time), that I will do a Sunday “weekly round-up” of all royal news for the week – so anything and everything that has happened in the past week that is worth discussing.
Usually there is plenty to keep us busy from the House of Windsor, but if there isn’t, you know I’ll find something to write about anyway – I always do.
So let’s start by looking back at the last week, which was quite a busy one by royal standards:
Lady Gabriella Windsor’s wedding
Yesterday marked the wedding day of Thomas Kingston and Lady Gabriella Windsor at St. George’s Chapel in Windsor Castle – and didn’t the bride just look gorgeous! I absolutely loved her veil and tiara – and the dress itself was amazing. Congratulations to them!
Many members of the family turned out to attend, including The Queen and Prince Harry – notably absent however were Meghan, the Cambridges and Charles & Camilla.
People came out with lovely messages all over social media – namely journalist Richard Eden, who mentioned how nice it was to see a wedding with actual family in attendance – throwing subtle shade at the Sussexes because 90% of their wedding congregation consisted of “Hollywood actor” guests they’d probably never spoken to.
Of course, a few Meghan fans got their knickers in a twist and cried about it – as they always do with the truth – claiming that “most of the family” didn’t actually attend Gabriella’s wedding.
Er, well, they did – and Her Majesty The Queen was certainly there and smiling, unlike one wedding I recall a year ago, where she looked like she had been taken hostage. And in any case, Gabriella and Thomas still had more family members there than Meghan did at hers; not that it’s difficult to top that record-breaking figure. One person. Meghan’s mother.
While I’ll bet Meghan was clawing at the door at home to break free, dump Archie on Doria and be out gurning in front of the cameras – it looks like it was mummy duty for her instead.
Not sure why Charles and Camilla didn’t attend, but I know William was at the FA Cup final and Catherine is probably preparing for the Chelsea flower show next week.
Which brings me to my next point…
Kate’s garden
Nope – not a dodgy euphemism. The Duchess of Cambridge has spent the last few months working on a garden entitled “Back To Nature” for the Chelsea Flower Show, due to be revealed next week as the show gets underway.
There have been many pictures released over the last few months showing Catherine working closely with the designers for the garden, and from what I can see, it looks totally fab! I’ll bet the Queen is super proud of her and I can’t wait to see the finished result.
In the mean time, we’ve been treated to this lovely photo of the DOC, enjoying herself behind the scenes:
Such a normal, understated, non-pretentious and down-to-earth woman. No searching for the cameras or begging for attention. Just getting on with it and making a valuable contribution to the BRF as always. Well done, Catherine!
Archie’s Birth Certificate
Ok, guess I was wrong again, but the Siamese Sussexes play so many games, it’s tough to keep up.
Yep, despite their initial refusal, on Friday, Archie’s birth certificate was released to the public, detailing that he was in fact born at the Portland Hospital in London rather than at home at Frogmore Cottage.
Why they hurriedly moved to Windsor only to drive back in to London to have the baby, I don’t know, but maybe that’s just me who doesn’t understand.
As far as I know, the medical team still have not been named, but quite frankly I don’t give a shit and I don’t suspect the media do anymore either.
Meghan and Harry have played so many games regarding the details of their son’s birth that most people long since stopped caring.
If you were going to release the birth certificate all along, why bother hiding the place of birth to begin with?
They apparently wanted to “protect his privacy” (what privacy? He’s 2 weeks old) – but in this instance regarding the details, I suspect they either didn’t have a scoobie what they were doing OR they were trying to go down the “celebrity route” by withholding information. Either way, it was highly annoying.
Good God Harry, couldn’t you have married someone fucking normal?
More strangely, the certificate signed by the informant – Harry – is simply “Harry” typed out. So not signed. No signature. Just likely typed out on somebody’s Mac.
Why was it typed?
I happened to be at my dad’s today and dug out a copy of my own birth certificate; granted it’s almost twenty six years old, but my father, as the informant, has very clearly put pen to paper and signed off my birth – along with a Kensington and Chelsea deputy registrar.
As the informant, Harry would have been present to register the birth, and therefore should be been able to provide a signature.
Not sure why he didn’t; perhaps his hand is broken from eighteen months of Meghan clinging to it.
William was the informant and provided signatures for all three of his children. Perhaps Harry simply couldn’t be arsed for his only child and son.
Oh, and yes Meghan has been listed as ” Princess of the UK” – not sure how, as she’s not even a UK citizen – that’s like me becoming President of the United States. But in short – Kate was listed as the same for all of her three kids. It’s no big deal. And what else would you call her?
…well, I can think of a few names, but I’ll spare you for now.
Meghan and Harry’s First Wedding Anniversary
That’s right – it’s been exactly a year since we witnessed the shitshow that was Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s wedding. Exactly a year since we had some mad preacher shout at us for about an hour and exactly a year since we witnessed members of the BRF try harder to hold in their laughter than hold the monarchy together.
Enjoy today Sussex fans – it may be the only wedding anniversary of theirs you’ll be celebrating.
Nah, I’m totally kidding – there’ll be another one next year, along with another baby, because Madame Sussex needs to secure a hefty divorce settlement. But I don’t reckon you’ll be seeing another anniversary after that. More likely a separation announcement by May 19th 2021.
Of course, not keen to be upstaged by Gabriella and Thomas, Harry and Meghan released some “unseen” photos from the big (disastrous) day last year on – you guessed it – their Instagram page.
Yeah, because the ones we actually saw weren’t painful enough
Predictably, more heavily edited black-and-white filters from Meghan and more crap spewed where she can refer to herself as “Her Royal Highness” – because she can apparently dig around what little brain cells she has left to remember her own title, but can’t address Charlotte and Louis as “Prince” and “Princess” in her birthday comments to them. Always something that makes me laugh.
Prince Harry’s lawsuit
In other (relatively boring) news, Prince Harry apparently won a settlement in court because some dudes in a helicopter flew over him and Meghan’s home in the Cotswolds and took some pictures of the house, which apparently showed areas of the dining room and bedroom.
I mean, Harry – your wife had no problem tossing some guy’s salad on camera and you’re more worried about the fact people know what shape your dining table is? If I were you, I’d be saving my pennies for the court case when THAT material is released.
And in the interim, I dunno, maybe invest in some fucking curtains?
Regardless, it’s a property they have barely even set foot in; the Queen apparently gifted it to them for their wedding and the two-year lease has just run out, so they’ve abandoned it; but Meghan and Harry, true to form, have tried to play at being the victims once again and have made out that they were “driven out of their own home” – (that they never lived in to begin with).
Anyway folks, that’s all for this week – I’m sure the next seven days will generate plenty of material, and either way, I’ll probably pen something in the week also – provided things aren’t too busy.
Otherwise, have a good one!Ā
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