CrownsOfBritain

So now that baby Archie is here, the media tide seems to have receded a bit and the gushing over new mother Meghan has died down, we can reconvene, collect our thoughts and, perhaps, turn our attention to the future.

With the arrival of Baby Sussex, I’ve been doing a fair bit of thinking about the family and what their life will look like in the future. Not in a “far off wonderment” way, but more like a “how long will this last” way. 

As with any new arrival in the family, things are all happy-happy for a while; there’s a new baby, an endless stream of visitors and doting grandparents to fuss over them – despite the lack of sleep, it’s a really lovely time; but like you, I have many theories about where this will go and how it will end up. 

Before I delve further into this though, something from my “prediction posts” needs to be revisited once again; yes folks, as I predicted, it’s come out this weekend that Harry and Meghan are not releasing Archie Harrison’s birth certificate. 

In light of what we now know, it doesn’t make any sense to me; they’ve told us absolutely everything else about him, but there’s maximum shadiness when it comes to the location of his birth and who delivered him.

Like I’ve said previously, I’m not one to buy into every crazy theory going just because I don’t like Meghan, but unless they are hiding something, there is really no other reason to refuse the release of his birth certificate. 

Something about this just doesn’t sit right, but I’m sure we’ll learn more in due course.

However, I digress.

Turning our attention back to the future, this is almost a “follow-up prediction post”, if you will. 

Now that the baby’s here and we’re getting a sneak preview of Harry and Meghan’s (rather predictable) behaviour when it comes to being parents and dealing with the media simultaneously, it shouldn’t be too difficult to see where this is all heading.

First off: the christening. I suspect Archie’s will be held sometime in July or August and likely on Windsor Castle grounds, as the Sussexes seem incapable of leaving the area. Do expect a flurry of “celebrity godparents” jetting in from the USA and the first exclusive pictures being sold to an American tabloid, with some kind of “teaser” photo released beforehand on the Sussexes’ Instagram – (I mean really, who let Meghan back on social media?)

What we shouldn’t expect? The Cambridges to serve as godparents. 

Considering I’ve read this morning that William, Catherine, Charles and Camilla haven’t even been to see the kid yet, I think it’s highly unlikely they’ll be in the fold when it comes to choosing Archie’s godparents. 

The video Rebecca English posted on her Twitter last week of the Cambridges on an official engagement, being asked about their new nephew, was rather indicative of the fact that even a new baby in the family can’t bring William and Harry to utter two words to each other. 

Catherine was forcing her face into such a wide grin that both her cheeks were on different continents – and bar the usual cliches you spew when somebody has a baby, the Cambridges didn’t say anything else particularly personal or touching. 

Oh wait, I lie. Prince William did say at one point of Harry, “I wish him all the best”.

This is usually a sentence more synonymous with rejecting somebody for a job post in your company – not someone excited for their sibling becoming a first-time parent. 

No – I think there’s more chance of me winding up as the next Queen of Britain than Will and Kate becoming godparents on this occasion.

And what about Royal tours?

Well – there was speculation (and many articles) on the fact that Meghan and Harry were looking to do a big tour of the USA and Canada this autumn, with baby in tow.

However, shortly before Archie’s arrival, it was reported that the Sussexes had “concerns” about their baby’s safety, and therefore have “decided against the trip after all”.

It must be noted that this is coming from a woman who flew to known Zika zones while pregnant, refused the best medical care in the country and was allegedly drinking quite a bit at the start of her pregnancy. 

Honey, it’s the USA – not Somalia. I think Archie will survive it. 

No, my theory is that Harry and Meghan decided while she was pregnant that they wanted to conduct a grand tour of America, the Queen got wind of it and shut the whole thing down. 

I think the main aim of the monarchy right now should be to strengthen relationships with the other commonwealth countries – and Meghan returning to the motherland to show off her Princely husband, offspring and bank-breaking wardrobe doesn’t really contribute to that. 

I do suspect there’ll be a tour of Australia toward the end of this year/early next year, on instructions from the Queen, and the Sussexes will pretend it’s their idea, spewing out some crap like “it’s where we announced the pregnancy, so it’s only right we bring Archie here for his first tour.”

As for Archie’s title – I was slightly out on this one admittedly. I said he wouldn’t have one, but I meant “Prince” – I was rather surprised to see that the Sussexes have apparently completely shunned a title for him altogether. No “Lord”. No “Earl”. Nothing. 

My reaction to this was probably the same as that of many others: “my arse does Meghan not want a title for her son”.

In my opinion, the reasoning behind this is one of a few things:

The first guess: The Queen didn’t change the letters patent, said absolutely no “Prince”, offered them “Lord Archie Mountbatten-Windsor, Earl of Dumbarton” and the Sussexes threw their toys out of the pram. Harry and Meghan, probably thinking “fuck that then”, likely decided that if it wasn’t a Prince title, they weren’t taking anything at all, and so, rejected any titles at all. 

The second guess: Harry insisted on no titles for him, and Meghan, not wanting to appear to be the gold-digger and attention-seeker many accuse her of being, was forced to go along with it. I reckon Meghan took the opportunity to look “noble” and probably thinks “well, he’ll get the chance to be a Prince when Charlie’s on the throne anyway, so I’ll bite my tongue for now”.

And lastly: Meghan was happy with this because this is her get out clause. Should there be a divorce, she can always chuck out the “Archie isn’t a royal prince and can easily be taken out of Britain” line; no stuffy royal title for Archie when he heads over to live in LA with his mum.

I’m not saying this is accurate (because it’s not), but it may be her train of thought. But no, it’s not accurate – Prince or not, he’s still seventh in line to the throne, and is still property of the crown, so it’s not as simple as all that – but it remains to be seen what cards she plays in the inevitable divorce.

Maybe I’m just judging people by my own standards, but I don’t believe for a second she didn’t want him to be a Prince by title. 

I’m super far from being a gold-digger, but if I married in to the British royal family, I’d want the big church wedding, the white dress with twenty-foot train, my own title and titles for my kids too – the whole bloody shebang. Otherwise I may as well have married the local butcher.

But turning my attention back to baby talk, do I think there’ll be more Sussex kids? Well, not plural – given Meghan’s age, I don’t think she’ll manage more than two children in total, but I do reckon we’ll see the arrival of the second instalment in either autumn or winter next year. 

She may decide that one son is enough to secure her future, but I really think she’ll try and swindle as much as she can out of the BRF before making her departure – and that means a second pregnancy quickly following the first.

I do also suspect William and Kate will have a fourth child next spring or summer (just a feeling I get), so I reckon we’ll see both Duchesses pregnant at the same time. 

To close, I have said repeatedly that I do think everything Meghan does is geared towards a return to the USA. 

I can’t see her being satisfied with being locked up over at Frogmore Cottage in the back end of nowhere for the rest of her days, playing housewife and mother, and living in the shadow of the Cambridges; I do reckon she’s been craving a return to America since the ring went on a year ago. 

Over time, we’ll see her make more and more personal trips to the USA, probably alone or with Archie – stepping out of LAX, sunglasses on, holding the baby, with the “please, no pictures” pose we all know she’s busy perfecting as speak.

I mean, there’s already talk of her and Harry wanting to buy a place in California, so it’s clear she’s missing the “celebrity circuit” – one that she probably expects she’ll be welcomed back into with far more open arms now, given that she’s made a name for herself across the pond. Her marrying a Prince is simply leverage and a springboard into something better. 

Please, do you really think she wants to stay in Britain amongst the stuffy upper classes, wearing ugly hats and having to run everything by her husband’s grandmother first? Nah – can’t see it.

As ever, I do appreciate I may be totally wrong, but… I doubt it. I think the way the future plays out for the Sussexes will be very interesting – especially within the next year. We’ll see more of the decisions they make in regards to the upbringing of their son and how much of it appears to be angled towards a return to America for Meghan. 

We’ll likely see another pregnancy announcement from them, and it’ll be interesting to see how their marriage changes over time.

Will Harry finally locate his balls? Will Meghan have another baby? Will Archie get his US citizenship? Will Harry start spending more time at his man cave over at Kensington Palace?

It’s all a big soap opera and one that’s bound to be entertaining – so stay tuned!