CrownsOfBritain

So today, Kensington Palace made the announcement most Cambridge fans have been waiting for for nearly a year – Meghan and Harry were finally coming out from under the KP umbrella and have branched out with their own new Instagram page.

Of course, as with any royal news, this was met with a mixed bag of responses:

“Thank fuck! We can now follow Kensington Palace again without worrying about Meghan and Harry news popping up!”

“Are you kidding me? *Unfollowed*, KP!”

“Why the hell are the Sussexes given their own Instagram page?!”

For the first one – my sentiments exactly. I used to follow Kensington Palace’s Insta page back before the engagement ring was even on Meghan’s finger, largely because I’m a huge fan of the Cambridges– so did I appreciate Meg swanning in and having her and Mr. Sussex foisted upon us for the last year or so? No, I certainly didn’t. I didn’t sign up for the Daily Sussex, so quite frankly, fuck that; today’s news was music to my ears and as of this afternoon, I am happy to announce that I am back following KP on Instagram.

For those who are outraged, wondering why the Sussexes were given their own Instagram page, well, this is my take on things…

For Meghan and Harry’s deluded fans, they’re all pissing their pants in excitement – (“Yes, our Duke and Duchess got their own page and your Cambridges are stuck with Kensington Palace – sucks to be you!”) – well, actually, it doesn’t.
For Sussex Stans, they clearly view this as Meghan and Harry’s first steps into creating their own global brand – something that members of the Royal Family shouldn’t actually be focusing on anyway, but we’ll get to that later. They obviously think it’s the palace’s way of letting everyone know that they fully support the Sussexes and their plans to overshadow everyone else in the BRF/branch out by themselves/dominate the world – when in fact, what we’re seeing here is the polar opposite.

This, my friends, is the official first stage of Harry and Meghan facing exile.

Over the last year, we’ve seen just what a loose cannon Meghan Markle can be; she spends money like it’s going out of fashion, befriends strange celebrities to make herself look more important and demands to be the centre of attention at all times.

In short – she’s dangerous.

Not ‘serial killer’ dangerous obviously, but dangerous enough that if left unmonitored for an extended period of time, she could do irreparable damage to the monarchy. I mean, let’s face it – it’s clear she doesn’t give a rat’s arse about her own image; whatever minimal popularity she had to begin with has tanked rather rapidly over the last year due to her lies and self-entitled behaviour – and I think even Meggers herself knows that there’s bugger all she can do to redeem herself at this point, nor does she care to. But what about the effect this has on the rest of the royal family?

Putting the Instagram page aside for one second, it’s recently been announced that Meghan and Harry’s office will be moving away from Kensington Palace and setting up shop at Buckingham Palace under the supervision of Lord Geidt, the Queen’s former private secretary.

This isn’t actually good news for the Sussexes; the office being moved over to the house of the ‘big boss’, coupled with Geidt being re-hired to babysit two adults pushing forty and reporting even a single step out of line to Granny, can only mean that the establishment doesn’t trust them as far as they can throw them.
Put it this way – the Cambridges have never needed anyone watch over them, for fear they might do or say the wrong thing and really fuck things up for the House of Windsor; they’ve been allowed to figure things out on their own, with a little gentle guidance here and there.
Because the palace trusts them. And they do not trust Harry and Meghan.

Then of course, there is the move to Frogmore Cottage, which has naturally been delayed while Meghan spends time shouting at the interior designers because things aren’t to her liking…

This, once again, is another move carefully calculated by the monarchy to push the ‘dynamic duo’ further onto the outskirts.
Apparently it was the Queen who suggested to the Sussexes that they move out of Kensington Palace and on to Windsor (who knows why, but one can only imagine Kate called the Queen at some point last year, probably three Gin and Tonics in, and said something along the lines of “move that vain tart out of this building at once, or I’ll strip off on a balcony in France again!”)

Let’s be real here; do we really think this showy, self obsessed actress from Cali voluntarily decided to leave a royal palace, only to move to a rather small (by royal standards) cottage, directly in a noisy Heathrow flightpath and away from the glitz and cameras of the capital? Pull the other one.
The Queen’s idea here, assuming it wasn’t influenced by a drunk and angry Duchess of Cambridge in the middle of the night, was likely to sideline the Sussexes a bit further.
In Windsor, it will be harder to be the centre of attention. Sure, you may get one or two lone photographers scaling the walls of the Frogmore Estate, but it won’t be anything like it is in London and they’ll eventually bugger off to the fish & chip shop after a couple of hours once they realise the Sussexes aren’t going to emerge.

Then there is the Royal Foundation of The Duke & Duchess of Cambridge and The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, which has it’s base at Kensington Palace. Whatever will happen to that? Well, rumour has it that’s being disbanded also.
With Harry and Meghan leaving London, and both couples hating each other’s guts – er, sorry, I mean – supporting different causes – it doesn’t make sense to keep the foundation and it’s title as it is.
So yes, a mere ten months after it was renamed to include Meghan in it’s title, it is now being dissolved in the coming months. What a glorious waste of time that was.

Yes, the divide of the offices and Instagram pages could well be both Princes trying to get on with things in respect to their own families; it could be indicative of an explosive feud between them also and yes, it could be that their wives simply can’t stand each other and refuse to live in the same building. But there is a bigger picture here..

What I’m trying to say, and maybe I’m going about it in a roundabout way, is that all of these careful manoeuvres by the palace have never been about Harry and Meghan and giving them their own platform.
This is all about William and Catherine and protecting them. It always has been.

Every last move the royal offices have made over the last eighteen months are with Charles, Camilla, William and Catherine in mind.
While Sussex Superfans jump up and down at the thought of a measly Instagram page being dedicated to their two (bone) idols and nothing else, it’s best to bear in mind that all of this is being done to preserve the reputation of the future Kings and their Queen Consorts. It is not to give Hypocritical Harry and Me-Me-Meghan their own global platform so they can dress-up and play at being humanitarians.

Put simply – it is to avoid contamination.

With Harry letting his errant wife run wild breaking the bank, preaching about climate change and then hopping on their private jets for parties and generally just being all-around hypocrites, do we really think the palace will allow these two to tarnish the Cambridges’ reputation? It’s highly doubtful.
While the Cambridges may have had a quiet word with the establishment related to any queries and concerns they may have had about being in such close proximity with the Sussexes, I do believe all of this has been planned and executed by the palace themselves. They have to think ten steps ahead and this will only be in regards to Charles, William and their wives.

Bottom line – Harry and Meghan are not important. Not in the eyes of the monarchy, royal staff or even a majority of the public. They are simply being kept out of the way and kept busy so that the path is clear for the Cornwalls and the Cambridges.
The Firm couldn’t give less of a toss about letting Harry and Meghan ‘build their own brand’ – if they want to do that, they should design a cosmetics range for Sephora, not live off the luxuries of being a royal, all while preaching to others and calling it ‘work’.
The monarchy has an image and it is not one to be tampered with; Wallis Simpson couldn’t manage it and Ms Wallis Simpson 2018 Version certainly won’t either.
Harry, who is nearly 35 years old and has been a royal from the second he took his very first breath on this earth, should know this by now. And more fool him for not putting a stop to this charade earlier.

At this point, the Sussexes are slowly but surely being tucked away and reined in. Harry and Meghan are akin to five-year-old you, being taken into your mum or dad’s office during school holidays and given a pen and a piece of no-longer-needed paperwork to scribble on… just to keep you busy, quiet and make you feel like you’re doing something important… when in actual fact, you’re just defiling some old piece of shit that nobody cares about any longer and will go in the shredder at the end of the day.

So Sussex fans, I know it’s a harsh reality to get your head around; the Queen can chuck as many fake working titles at them as she wants (“VP of the Commonwealth trust”, anyone?), give them fifty Instagram and Twitter pages all to themselves and move them into her own bloody bedroom at Buckingham Palace if she likes – it won’t make a blind bit of difference.
The Sussexes are supporting players in the bigger field; the rubber dinghie that accompanies the larger ship and the donkey that trails behind the stallion.
In the grand scheme of things, they are nothing. The Cambridge family, their reputation, happiness and well-being will always come first. ALWAYS.

And that’s something that Sussex fans will just have to get used to.