CrownsOfBritain

Since the announcement on 15th October last year that The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are expecting their first child this Spring, there has been the inevitable “bump” watch from the media and public for 37-year-old Meghan Markle. Of course, with any royal pregnancy, there have been questions; some wondering whether or not Meghan is actually pregnant and not just using a surrogate instead. Here we assess why…

Travel

Let’s start with the news of the day; Meghan was papped on Friday arriving in NYC, allegedly for her baby shower. First of all, there’s the bizarre fact that she couldn’t find any friends to have a baby shower with on UK soil with after a year-and-a-half of living here. I thought she was all pally with the elite set? What about all those Made in Chelsea people who were meant to be really close with her? Yeah — my backside.

Also, why did her friends made a heavily pregnant woman fly to them rather than them making an effort to fly to London? I don’t know about you, but for every baby shower I’ve been to, we usually try and accommodate the mother-to-be, not the other way around. I’m sure they have space at Kensington Palace for a baby shower without a pregnant woman having to fly six hours across the Atlantic. And on a side note – I do find it odd that the paparazzi never seem to get a clear view of her stomach when they do snap her. There was that lunch with her PR pest Christian too, where they were just side shots with her coat sticking out whilst open, but her stomach isn’t visible.

And then there’s the amount of travel; a five-day trip to NYC this week and then Morocco this weekend, to a known Zika zone? I know most doctors and airlines will let you travel up until 36 weeks, but it’s a lot of extensive travel for someone in the final stages of their pregnancy. Why have the palace deemed it necessary for the Sussexes to take such unnecessary trips so late into her pregnancy? It’s very odd.

The size and shape

Let’s be real here, the size and shape of that thing changes more times a week than a shapeshifter would. She goes from looking like she swallowed a beach ball one minute to having only swallowed a few pancakes the next. And it’s not the style of dress either – it really is very weird.

There was that video to the old people’s home where she not only wore a very ugly and inappropriate dress, but her bump also appeared to have sharp edges — more fitting for a basket than a baby bump. Unless she’s preparing to give birth to a royal hexagon, whatever it is in there isn’t actually a baby.

And then there was that time that as she and Harry left an engagement, her bump had an “oopsie” moment and slipped to her knees — or that’s what it looked like, at the very least. Meghan, probably too busy looking for the nearest camera, didn’t seem to notice the “foetus faux pas”, but a lot of eagle-eyed royal watchers definitely did.

General Stance

Before Meghan joined the royal family, I was told she was an actress, but I’m starting to think she may have been something of a contortionist. I have never seen a pregnant woman bend down like this six months in, with their knees completely in their chest.

Firstly, where is the baby going while she does this? It’s not a foldaway camping table, so I fail to see how there is room for baby, knees and chest in this equation. And how does she not need assistance standing up? Not only is she heavily pregnant, but she’s also wearing heels and squatting – I’ve never known a pregnant woman to be able to pull themselves up from a squat without holding onto their sofa/coffee table/husband/dog. It just doesn’t happen. It’s a “big baby” is it, Harry? Because your wife’s speeding around like she’s carrying a raisin in there.

Due date

For all royal pregnant women, once they are safely over that all-important 12-week mark, the palace usually makes the announcement that the baby is due *insert rough part of month here*. With The Duchess of Cambridge, she was announced as being due mid July for George, early to mid April for Charlotte and late April for Louis (in fact, quite bizarrely, some articles even gave the exact date of April 23rd.) With Meghan, no such confirmation was made; there was a very vague “baby is due in the Spring” and that was that. Considering they’d confirmed Meghan was over twelve weeks, it did seem weird that they wouldn’t even tell the public what month she was due in, let alone a timeframe within it. Why would they withhold that information if they hadn’t done for Kate?

Prince Harry

Prince Harry has spoken for years about how much he wanted to settle down and start a family – so it does seem weird to me that he won’t discuss Meghan’s pregnancy at all. In fact, they’ve both been alarmingly quiet, not speaking very much at all about the pending arrival – with Harry only once commenting that the baby was “going to be fat” or something equally stupid.

For Meghan, a certified attention-seeker, I’m surprised she isn’t being drawn into discussion about the kid either. For all her over-the-top tummy-grasping, all she has really said so far is that they don’t know the gender (which is likely bullshit) and back in January, she told well-wishers (or sad people who stand in the cold for hours to look at a Z-list actress) that she was “six months pregnant”. That’s it. No real excitement from Harry, barely any references to pending fatherhood and they don’t appear to be receiving any gifts for the baby either – just silence. It’s a little strange.

Her body

I get that some women don’t put on much weight while pregnant, but she really hasn’t put on any at all; she more closely resembles a puff adder that swallowed a fox rather than a woman who is heavily pregnant. Her legs are still stick thin, as are her arms and her ankles haven’t swelled up at all, which is slightly bizarre so late into her pregnancy.

Two weeks ago, after stepping out at the Endeavour Awards in London, many commented on the lack of weight gain in her face, a very common pregnancy symptom for most women. Lo and behold, a week later during a jolly to the Natural History Museum with Harry, her face is suddenly and miraculously chubbier — (as are her lips, but I’ll let you draw your own conclusions on that one).

The family

There haven’t been any public comments from the family on the pregnancy, save for that one time someone backed Kate into a corner during an an engagement and asked her how she felt about Meghan being pregnant:

Same goes for the pregnancy announcement — I may have missed it, but usually a pregnancy or birth announcement within the BRF is accompanied by a “the Queen is delighted” comment, although I don’t remember that this time around. No congratulatory words from the Cambridges either when the news broke – although the less cynical side of me put that down to the fact that Kate’s sister Pippa had given birth to her son on the same day as Meghan’s announcement, and naturally, Kate gave more of a shit about that.

You’d think William, who is due to become an uncle for the first time, would be more excited or say something publicly about his little brother’s pending fatherhood – but nothing. Zilch. Nada.

In conclusion, do I think Meghan Markle is actually pregnant? I have to be honest, I’m not completely sold either way. Her bump bunching up like knot of elastic bands half the time doesn’t really help her cause, but is it possible she’s just one of those women who’s doesn’t gain weight while pregnant and has an odd shaped stomach? Entirely.

As for the family not speaking up, I do have to say that I think that’s more to do with them not liking or accepting her than down to anything iffy— (and on this point I won’t negotiate— it’s clear there’s beef there). The Cambridges have been very bloody quiet since Harry and Meggers got engaged and looked as though they were physically having to drag themselves to the wedding or any other event in which Hazza and Markle are present. There’s bad blood there and I reckon it will only get worse after the arrival of the baby.

What are your thoughts?