Meghan Markle: Lettergate

So Saturday night saw the release of a supposed private, handwritten letter Meghan Markle, the Duchess of Sussex, had allegedly sent to her father, Thomas Markle, back in August of last year. And of course, given the fact it was released so suddenly after her dad claimed he hadn’t spoken to his daughter in months, the general public have their questions. So let’s look at this a bit closer:

The first question being, why would Thomas Markle suddenly release this now? He maintained, for nearly nine months now, that he hadn’t spoken to his daughter since before her wedding to Prince Harry; but suddenly he has changed his tune and piped up with this letter, effectively saying, “Oh, Meghan? We haven’t spoken for MONTHS! Not since before the wedding! Not at all!… Oh wait, but there is this five-page letter she sent me last summer that I totally forgot about.” Something about it just doesn’t add up or make sense, and if I didn’t know any better, I’d say Meghan and the palace have backed him into a corner with a pay-off to lie and pretend he’s had this letter all along. At this stage, I wouldn’t put it past any of them. 

Who writes a five-page letter like this? No wonder it’s only just come out – it must’ve taken six months just to finish writing it!

Another thing to look at is the format; I mean, I understand she married into an institution that is over a thousand years old, but we all own iPhones these days, so what is with the handwritten letter? Could she not have called him? Oh no, that’s right – calling him would mean no record of a conversation ever taking place and her “reaching out” to him, and that won’t do when you’ve got a public image to repair. And texting won’t do either, because then it would be obvious it came from Madame Markle’s phone. 

The Duchess of Sussex trying to power her iPhone charger. It’s so hard when you’ve married into a poor family.

From reading around the internet too, it seems a lot of people were perplexed by the actual handwriting itself as well. What was with the swirly, curly writing? I had read someone say that she took calligraphy in university, but that can’t be her normal handwriting and this isn’t even calligraphy – just deeply contrived scrawl, which most people wouldn’t bother doing when writing something for a parent. It’s almost as if… (no, surely not?)…. she intended for the public to see this letter all along? No, it can’t be!

The way we all write, obviously

One other thing that was strange to me was the timing. If Meghan had been aware for the last nine months that she was being raked across the coals by the public for not speaking to her elderly, poorly father since she shacked up with a Prince, and she knew she had “sent this letter” six months ago, why has nobody from the palace said anything earlier? Are we expected to believe that Meghan forgot she sent the letter and Thomas forgot he received it? Maybe poor memory runs in the family, but it seems somewhat unlikely.

THE VERDICT

To summarise, this is quite possibly a load of crap. It seems too convenient that all these items should start coming to the surface just two months after the new PR guy is hired to salvage whatever is left of Meghan’s reputation within the public eye. I can just imagine how that lunch meeting in Notting Hill Gate went:

Meghan: Whatever will I do, Christian? The public simply loathe me!

Christian: We need to clean up your image, your Highness. You know, pretend you’re a nice person and all that other crap.

Meghan: That will be difficult; I mean, I already hugged a few children last week and squinted adoringly at Harry – what more can I possibly do?

Christian: We’ll bring out the big guns – we’ll get you to hold a puppy for three minutes and then we’ll pretend you wrote to your dad six months ago. You’ll come across as a loving, caring daughter – even if you’re not! 

Meghan: That is positively genius, Christian! I knew you were a good hire! Maybe you’ll actually make it past your probation period.

*They clink glasses of kale juice*

In any case, the fact that it never came to light before that Meghan had sent this letter to her father, despite the palace witnessing months of the proverbial hitting the fan and seeing people hurl abuse at Meghan for ignoring her dad, just seems too strange to me. 

The most suspicious of all is how only about three lines were handwritten and the rest was typed; why wasn’t the entirety of this magical letter released to the public then? Likely because it wasn’t sent back in August; Meghan hurriedly penned a few sentences for the opening (hence the fancy italics) and left the palace to fabricate and type up the rest, slapping an August date on it. 

”Yeah yeah whatever, put that ‘my heart is broken’ or some shit like that – make me sound sad. Anyway, I gotta run, I got a fitting for another ugly dress at Givenchy.”

If I did miss anything at all, I can only apologise; admittedly I didn’t read the whole letter because the whole little-orphan-Annie vibe Meghan’s trying to give out just irritates the hell out of me. I do personally believe the letter was only penned last week and Thomas has been given a pay off to lie and say he received it last summer, whether that be in interviews or otherwise. The timing is too strange and everything over the last month or so has her PR team’s stamp all over it – I’m just not buying what she’s selling.

In conclusion, I say, get them all on the Jerry Springer show – then we can have some REAL entertainment.

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